btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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