Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
