The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
