we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I want is dick and wine.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize