I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
