Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
