Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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