i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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