the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
