It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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