omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
