OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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