and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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