You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
