White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
