census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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