I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
