Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
