Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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