I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
