Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You may now shotgun with the bride
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
