Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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