'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
