Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm too high and old for this...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
