he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
