I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
