you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
