Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
