never play flip cup with pint glasses
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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