So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
