we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
