I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
