dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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