I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize