I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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