I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
