dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize