Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
