Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize