I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
