did you get engaged???
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
