My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
