I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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