Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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