i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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