Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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