Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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