remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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