Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
