no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
