Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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