I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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