Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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