Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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