Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
