How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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