I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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