Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
