I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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