This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
